So many things, so little time

Let me start off with something that happened tonight,
Gunnar and Harley were asleep. Jason was getting ready for bed but Novalee asked him to go for a walk with her. He told her he would run with her, I said I wanted to go too so we locked the front door and ran back and forth on our side of the block. It was so frustrating that I am so not in shape and that I was falling behind. As I grew more and more tired, I would tell myself that I couldn't do it anymore. I would stop take a break while the other 2 passed me. Then on the final time back we were racing to our house, Jason took off, and then Novalee and I started running trying to beat him. About 4 houses away from mine, which is not that far, I felt my body become tired. I know that you need to push yourself in order to succeed but I didn't think I could do it. Now that I think about it I really wished I had done it. It was not far at all to really be an accomplishment but the fact that I gave up bothers me.
The other day, I was checking my grades on the computer. I am sure that all my faithful readers know that I am not one to be on my homework and to get it done right away. I think one of my greatest weaknesses is procrastinating. Anyways, suprisingly, I didn't get an A in a class I was hoping I would get an A in. I missed a few of the discussion boards that I was supposed to post on but, for some reason it was a shock that I didn't ace it. I don't know why it was so upsetting to me anyways since I failed another class (Luckily it was a 2 credit class that had wayyy to much homework for what it was worth). However, as I looked at that grade, I found myself crying. I didn't just cry, I started sobbing!
Jason was sitting on the couch by me and told me to come sit next to him and talk. He is such a great man, I feel so lucky to have him. He just put his arms around me and just let me cry. My feelings just came pouring out to him about so many things and the trials that I have. He is so wonderful and just listened to me.
At our home we go by school years since that is the schedule we have been on for about 8 years. Let me tell you this year has been one of the worst but as I have come to accept the trials that I have been given, I have come to learn to love that families are forever and that at times we don't think things could get worse but they do. I have also come to learn this year that I am actually an adult not just playing one. While I am constantly making mistakes, I am grateful that Heavenly Father understands me. He knows that I am not perfect, I am so far on the other side of perfect. He loves me. I know that Satan does what he can to try to discourage me from happiness but as learned tonight, I need to push past what I think is going to be hard and get to what I want to accomplish in life. I can't give up on myself or my family when I feel I can't and together with my wonderful husband by my side we can get our family to where we want to be.
I also tonight feel so grateful because after a few discussions with Novalee she has decided that she wants to be baptized. At times, I have wondered if we were ever going to hear that out of her mouth. Our typical Sunday involves Jason and I trying to convince her to go to church so we can be a family at church and learn about things that Heavenly Father and Jesus want us to learn. As usual this morning while we were getting the kids bathed, we had a "loud discussion" with her about her attitude towards church. Now I know she is only 8 but we really want her to love the gospel as much as we do. We want her to learn for herself the importance. So usually when we have brought it up to her, we hear, that she wants to be baptized when she is 20. We aren't going to force her but we want her to know exactly what it means when you get baptized and the responsibilty that comes with it. My lovely daughter told me with tears in her eyes, "Mommy, I love Jesus, and I want to get baptized and make the right choices, I just don't like to sit in church because it is so long." It was so sweet to hear that from her. I love my kids so much!!