So Anyways

We talked to this guy we have been working on and there is a positive future!

About earlier........

Ok so I deleted that other post. I felt alot better after I wrote it. Things are going to be okay. We are going to have a great life here in this house as long as we can. We are going to save up and have Jason finish school. I am learning alot about patience right now.

I passed a test!

I know that life is full of many tests and not all of them are going to be life changing or something that is considered hard. If you are around me lately I am so not a fun person. I either feel tired, really sick to my stomach, extremely tired, and always feel in a bad mood. I have been so mean to my kids lately its sad. Tonight, I was worried about things, the house is messy, I have wet laundry in the washer, not to mention I ate way too much food at dinner. The girls were in the kids room watching Gummi Bears and Gunnar of course was in my room, I guess what we were watching was over because Jason and I were both asleep and so Gunnar woke up Jason and told him it was over. Jason turned off the tv and went back to sleep. Gunnar started kicking and screaming and crying. I of course yelled at him and he went in his room crying but I know that is not how I want to be as a mommy so I went and got him we walked back to my room with him crying and I told him without yelling that we don't have to watch tv to go to sleep so he came in my bed and we cuddled and tried to sing songs. It was a really sweet moment that I haven't had with my kids for a long time. After about 5 minutes, Gunnar was asleep and I realized I haven't felt that good in such a long time.
Maybe this is a test in itself. These little trials of patience with my kids I know I am going to have to push myself to be a strong example for these kids. I need to take a breath and remember the big picture in life.

My Summer

Like always, this summer was going to be well planned. My kids were going to be on a schedule, they were going to be doing some of the many workbooks that we have boughten over the year but not used. We were going to be spending hours outside soaking up the sunshine and letting the kids run wild in the backyard. We were going to work hard on our garden and watch the plants grow and enjoy the fruit or vegatables of our labor. Gunnar was going to sleep in his bed.
Like always, something has come up. I am lucky if I wake up before 9 am. My kids wake up at all different hours. Novalee could sleep in until 11 if we let her. The house is never clean and the only time the dishes are done is if Jason get tired of the smell and does them himself. The only thing that has really survived out of my garden is the tomatos. The kids don't want to go outside they just want to sit inside and play Barbies. When they do go outside, I watch them from the kitchen window until I get tired of breaking up fights. Then I make them come in the house which only results in more crying. Workbooks haven't even gotten out of the box. Harley and I have been reading the same book since May, its hard when you only get around to one chapter a week if we are lucky. I hope we didn't lose a library book thinking about it now! Gunnar sleeps in our bed only if Jason is asleep and I can't sleep because I have gotten used to him in our bed now and I sleep better. My kids don't eat breakfast alot. I think they only ate lunch and didn't say anything about dinner since we were so full from our 2 pm lunch at Wingers.
How I am going to get back to the Mommy that I used to be and yet it was the mommy I didn't want to be? I need to get my energy back soon school starts in a few weeks! Oh the joys of pregnancy.

I'm Dreaming of Smoking?

This morning I actually woke up early because my house has taken on a funny smell to it lately and suprisingly Novalee woke up too. I was suprised because lately we have to fight her to get up before 10 most days. She came in and was crying. She told me that she had dreamt that she smoked in her dream, then she asked me, "Mommy, is it bad that I was smoking in my dream?" after I told her that she can't help sometimes what she dreams she asked, "Am I going to be sick?" and "Am I in trouble?"

Poor Girl!

Something New Every Day

You know being married for over 9 years now there are things that you never would imagine yourself saying almost on a nightly basis in your bed something that Jason and I have to say almost every night is, "No guns in the bed" This is why

What Weird Kids I Have

Its midnight and none of my kids are asleep. Harley is saying, "Kill the spiders, free the diapers" among other things. Gunnar is wearing his back purse that is filled with guns while loading his big construction truck up with dinosaurs not the blocks that came with it and Novalee is screaming "Spider!" randomly maybe wanting me to dump water on her. Isn 't life great!

This week is the last of our busy weeks! I am so happy that it is over with while we did do some really fun things. We saw Harry Potter, had a birthday, swimming lessons, not to mention a baby shower yesterday and another one tomorrow. We also had the normal day to day things mixed in with dr's appointments and Provo City Basketball games. Jason has one more class this summer and then will start Dixon again in August. I am just having fun sleeping and reading which is what I am getting really good at. Novalee still needs to set a baptism day but we aren 't really letting her until she decides she is going to start going to church again. She has been doing makeup nonstop on almost everyone for 2 weeks. Harley wishes it had been her birthday especially since Novalee had told her she could get her nails done with her but of course Novalee made that up. Her best friend Kate moved away today and of course when Harley and Kate hugged good bye and kept saying "more, more" I started crying. Gunnar is getting to be such a big boy and now completly goes potty in the big toilet since Mommy got tired of cleaning out the other one. He is into guns and sleeps with them even when he comes in our bed.
Such good news today Harley gets the teacher we wanted who also very nicely watched the kids so I could go to the dr this week. Anyways we have cute pictures but for some reason I can't figure out the camera. Hope you are all having as much fun as us!

My little Novalee

Well, today my little girl turns 8! Isn't that so weird that she is that old? She has been such a fun daughter and so full of energy from the day she was born here are some of the many pictures (She is the oldest so you know how that goes)

Busted!

I am sitting here wondering today why Harley thought we were going to steal our groceries from the store! I will never know.