Me crying again.

I know I should more about my kids on my posts but I tried today but I just didn't have the motivation to get one together. All I can think about is me and how sad I am. I know I am going to have to get over this but I feel like I lost one of my best friends and I don't know what I am going to do. I talked to my wonderful Granddad yesterday and as reality hits again, I started crying and luckily my kids have neighborhood grandmas and I got a "Grandma hug" it wasn't the same but they are great.

I feel guilty about not being able to go to the funeral. I had just went down to AZ and I wasn't sure how long my mom would be down and Jason had to work plus the kids primary program, and Harley ended up throwing up all over dying the carpet in the hallway pink.(Too much information I know)

I know I don't see my grandparents everyday but knowing that Grandma Rena won't be here when other things happen is hard. I know that if I have another baby (if I get my way) that she won't be here and that baby won't have a Grandma Rena blanket like my other 3 do. Many of my good memories from when I was younger involve her. She is one of those people that no matter what she always loved you and gave you a hug. I always thought of her as a perfect grandma and when I was little it was always so fun to show off my wonderful grandparents.

I feel bad because I know how much Granddad loves her and I know he is missing her right now. He is such a strong person even though I know this is so hard. My grandparents knew when we got together in 2006 that that was the last time we would all be able to be together even though we already lost a cousin K'lee. My grandparents have such faith and are such examples to me.

I know its all just a bunch of run on sentences but hopefully my next posts will be back to normal and I can continue with making fun of my kids.

Today

I have been so unable to think about anything but my Grandma lately. So I was able to go to the temple this morning with some friends. I had this song in my head as soon as I went into the Celestial Room.
1. I know that my Redeemer lives.What comfort this sweet sentence gives!He lives, he lives, who once was dead.He lives, my ever-living Head.He lives to bless me with his love.He lives to plead for me above.He lives my hungry soul to feed.He lives to bless in time of need.
2. He lives to grant me rich supply.He lives to guide me with his eye.He lives to comfort me when faint.He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.He lives to silence all my fears.He lives to wipe away my tears.He lives to calm my troubled heart.He lives all blessings to impart.
3. He lives, my kind, wise heav’nly Friend.He lives and loves me to the end.He lives, and while he lives, I’ll sing.He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.He lives and grants me daily breath.He lives, and I shall conquer death.He lives my mansion to prepare.He lives to bring me safely there.
4. He lives! All glory to his name!He lives, my Savior, still the same.Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:“I know that my Redeemer lives!”He lives! All glory to his name!He lives, my Savior, still the same.Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:“I know that my Redeemer lives!”
Text: Samuel Medley, 1738–1799. Included in the first LDS hymnbook, 1835.
Music: Lewis D. Edwards, 1858–1921

I have been trying to come up with something to say...

Rhoana Rose Hamblin
Rhoana Rose Hamblin 'Rena' 77, passed away peacefully October 22, 2008 surrounded by her loving family, from complications of ALS. Rena was born in Tucson, Arizona, August 23, 1931 to Roy and Rose Elder. She attended schools in Tucson, Miami and graduated from Mesa High School in 1949. The following year she graduated from Lambson's Business College. She married John Allan Hamblin in the Arizona Temple June 21, 1951. She followed John to Chicago, Illinois, where he finished his dental training. After dental school, they went to San Diego, California while John was in the Navy. The returned to Mesa in 1956. Rena was a life long member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and served in many leadership positions such as president of: Primary, Relief Society and the Young Women's organization. Her most enjoyable service was an ordinance worker in the Arizona Temple. While she had a great love of genealogy, her greatest love was her family. She loved getting together with her young grandchildren and go 'adventuring.' She was preceded in death by her parents, Roy and Rose Elder and her granddaughter, K'Lee Owens. She is survived by her husband of fifty seven years John, her daughters: Joanna Owens (Dale), Laura Pew (David), Karen Carter (Robert), Alison Allen (John), and Martha Sawyer (Greg). Her sisters Nola Sirrine (Gail), Janice Nabors (Troy), and brother Jim Elder (Diane). She is also survived by seventeen grandchildren and fourteen great grandchildren. There will be a visitation Sunday, October 26 from 608 PM at Meldrum Mortuary, 52 N. MacDonald St. The funeral will be 10:00 AM at the LDS Three Fountains Ward building, 1852 N. Stapley Dr. There will also be a visitation one hour prior to the service. The family's heart felt thanks goes to Hospice Family Care for the loving and compassionate help they gave to our family in this time of sadness. Published in the East Valley Tribune from 10/25/2008 - 10/26/2008

What the ????

While I was getting ready for bed, Gunnar and Jason were watching "My name is Earl" on DVD in our room. Jason was talking to me he thought and Gunnar likes to comment on the shows of course. There was an episode where Earl is in charge of a high school's In School Suspension (which is what Jason does at his work) and Jason said I think to me but I wasn 't listening since I was mad at him, "I would kick their a**" (edited because I am nice).

So later I am laying down doing a crossword puzzle, I was listening to the same episode and Gunnar says "Daddy will kick his A**". Well, that is what he meant to say it took a few times for me to understand it. I told him that we don't say that its not very nice and then Gunnar repeated it again. I told him again, that we don't say bad words and the kids needed hugs because they were bad. Gunnar decided to say "I kick their a**"

Luckily I have learned from previous kids that I can't laugh when they do stuff like that because then they do it all the time. Like when I taught Novalee to say "Ding, ding" and pull on Jason's ghetto looking shorts. As she got older, she would pull harder and pull them off. It was so funny to me at the time but now she still thinks its still funny. Hopefully her time out today will know that she can't do it anymore.

Wondering

I was just wondering if anyone else just feels so run down at the end of the day. Ever since I had Novalee at the end of most days I just feel so worn out and just achy. It was worse when I was pregnant but I have just been so drained all day. It is better some days and worse others, just depends what I do in the daytime. Yesterday was just a constant run. I even did my makeup at Harleys kindergarten class while her teacher was explaining the centers since that was my only break in the day. However most days I am just stuck with the option to go to bed because I feel like I can't deal with anything anymore. Luckily Jason is home at night time with me. I feel guilty too because most times I am too tired to get my kids in bed I just say goodnight, go to bed and put a movie on for them. I know its just probably too much info for everyone but just wondering.

I know you have had serious Katrina withdrawls

*I have had so much going on that I should share some good news:

* I am not really pregnant at all I just wondered what it would look like to have 10 babies in the countdown.

* UEA starts tomorrow, and I get to have my family (plus Emily) home for the weekend.

* I have had a clean house for a few days

* Gunnar slept in his bed last night

(By the way, Gunnar had his checkup he is at 70% weight, 90% head size, and 10% height)

* Halloween is coming in a few weeks

* I actually had time to do my makeup and hair 2 days in a row! (Even if I had to hurry and do it in Harley's class it was still done!)

* Kathy and Jerry are coming over tonight to play games again. I hope we play phase 10 one more time because I want to win!

Babies a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, and j!

So has anyone noticed how my 10 little babies are growing? They are healthy so far and I can't wait to meet them!

Just in case you wanted to know

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20081006/MED.Preventing.SIDS/

This is something that you might find interesting. I myself am always listening to these finds about SIDS since my nephew died of SIDS 2 weeks before Gunnar was born.

Harley and Gunnar

These were actually taken 2 different nights. They both started out sleeping laying down and then I came out and they were sitting like this. Very cute!

Gunnar is 3!

Here are some of my favorite pics of Gunnar that I have on my computer I don't have any newborn because those are on a disc somewhere, I don't know where though.he is such a sweet boy and we love him so much!