The Last Few Days

Well, since I am incredibly tired I will explain what has gone on for the last few days. Let me say first that Gunnar is fine. He started walking, with a limp, a few days before the mri so we think it must have been a bruised bone.
Anyways the reason I am so tired is that last night one of our nephews on Jason's side was born but didn't live. I am glad I went up to Salt Lake last night to see him before he died and I am glad that I wasn't there when he did. I can't handle things like this good. It turns out that his body was born with so many birth defects inside there was no way they could fix them. Last week they found out something was wrong with his heart and that would be able to be fixed when he was 6 months old. He was unexpectedly born at 32 weeks (maybe 34 can't remember) and when he was born, which is actually a story in itself how he was born. They found new problems and later on they found even more when they started operating on him to help him breathe.
I was having such a hard day and just couldn't get myself together. I kept having to go in my room and just take a deep breath and relax. Luckily tonight I talked to one of my wonderful friends Carla, and she always knows what to say to help me to feel better. She helped me realize with all that was wrong with his little body that it was such a miracle that he lived to even take his first breath not to mention almost 12 hours. I feel so grateful in a sad way that I was able to see him and touch his little arm. Its just amazing how miraculous the whole thing.